Alright, here it goes.
I’m deleting my Tumblr because I’m, for lack of a better phrase, sick of everyone. It’s not that I dislike anybody or that I don’t value what people have to say - I’m just tired of sharing my thoughts with people, and those people sharing my thoughts with other people who are only out to make me feel miserable. Does that make sense? I feel like I’m not explaining this adequately…
Basically, I’m over having to defend myself for no reason. I’m sick of people making assumptions about my life based on a check-in on Facebook or a vague text post I make on Tumblr about one thing or another. And that’s another issue in itself - not only am I tired of defending myself, I’m tired of doing so passive-aggressively. I never wanted to become this way, but I did, and I’m disgusted. I’m literally passive-aggressively responding to other people’s passive-aggressive posts about me, simply because ANOTHER party jumps into the middle and stirs the pot. Non-issues suddenly become issues in my life because I feel like I’m being attacked for no reason, over situations and people that have nothing to do with me. It’s gotten so involved that I can’t even have a beer with my friends and their friends without someone blowing it up into something it’s not.
Not that’s it’s anyone’s business, but pretty much all I do is work and go to school. Every once in awhile, I’ll go out, and most of the time it’s with girls from my work or my Norman friends that I’ve known since elementary school (and sometimes their friends, who know other people, who know even more people because Norman is a small fucking town). I’m tired of people talking shit as though I’m scandalous in some way, when my life isn’t all that interesting, really. Everything has become a vicious cycle - I’m accused of petty, ridiculous things, then people start talking, then people start telling me, then I start getting pissed because it’s not true, then I start defending myself, then the things that I say get back to the first party, then they defend themselves, and it starts all over again.
You guys are gossiping about non-existent issues, breathing life into some idea of me (and other people too, probably) that is completely fabricated and false. It’s so ridiculous! And I refuse to get caught up in it anymore.
So maybe once I delete this page, everyone will go back to their own lives, or at least the lives of people that aren’t me. I can’t handle it anymore. I’m sad, upset, frustrated, angry, cynical, paranoid, and irritated. I just don’t have room for those emotions right now when I have real problems going on with my family, friends, and otherwise.
If we’re friends, you’ll know how to get ahold of me, and you’ll know what’s going on with my life. And if you’re not my friend, well… you don’t need to know what’s up with me anyway.
I’m putting an end to people stalking me because it’s affecting my life in a very unhealthy way. Deleting Tumblr for awhile is the first step in doing so.